Turning A Single Mother Struggles into Gratitude.

You would think having being a single mom of four, which includes 6 month old twins that people would come by or call to check on you. “Hey, do you need help doing laundry, grocery shopping or need a nap?” Maybe for some, but not for me, I’m lucky if one person called me once in 10 days who isn’t my mother.

I have a right to be bitter I feel, but I choose not to. I have a right to go back to smoking a Newport or taking a few pulls of a blunt while tears are rolling down my cheek. Maybe drink a whole bottle of wine or Ciroc while I reminisce until I get drunk and pass out and have my 15 year old deal with my 4 years old and 6 month old twins.

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Walking back to get groceries I had to leave behind.

Just last night, New Years Eve, while I watched everyone on social media dress up or go out or to a loved ones home to celebrate, I was out grocery shopping, struggling with 10 heavy bags walking to the bus stop, and walking home from the bus stop. I got to the point where I just left a few bags behind while I walked half a block with the other bags, just to put those down and go back and get the backs I left behind. I walked those bags a few feet to put them down and went back for the other bags. I did that continually until I got to my apartment, which was only a 5 min walk from the bus stop but it became a 20 min hustle for me.

Instead making my struggle a sad story, I wanted to make into a story of goodness. There is no reason to be bitter. Some people don’t know what is feels like to have nobody so you can’t expect people to be there for you. Therefore, making my struggles and turning them into gratitude is just another piece of humble pie for me.

I got up today, New Years day and deiced to make homemade baby apple sauce and sweet potatoes for the twins . As I was doing so, I was wondering how many other single moms have nobody, nobody to call, nobody who visits and become sad and want to give up.

So, I decided since I know a lot of moms may not have the time or energy I am offering a weeks supple of free all natural homemade baby food (Apple Sauce and/ or Sweet potato) to 4 single parent families for the month of January. As the pictures show, you can see my food making process.

If you know of any families that want or need free all natural baby food email or inbox me @Thebushwins on IG for more information.

Bush Body Butter Balm

Sometimes it kinda of funny to see a 4 month old scratching. It’s like how do they know how to do that already.

Imagine seeing and feeling hard, rough scaly spots on both your twins and they both are whining and scratching. Well after seeing them scratch and scratch I came up with the idea to do something about it.

They doctor told me to invest in some products, but once I put those products on it was like the skin felt like crack and rough within a few hours.
So I decided to look up some all natural ingredients which includes raw butters and vitamin E that would help there skin and something I could use on their hair as well. Hey, let me kill 2 birds with one stone lol.

Not only did I make my own personal batch but I decided to get some reviews, so I sent 7 small jars to various strangers I met in a FB group that lived across the US so I could get feedback.
After their review, which were all good but some adjustments were needed.
So as I adjusted ingredients, I too was monitoring the progress on the twins skin.

Since the twins are behind the making of the Body Butter and we are looking into branding the babies we are now The Bush Brand and under that umbrella we now have the BUSH BRAND BODY BUTTER BALM 

After two weeks of applying BBBB 2-3 times a day their skin has improved and smoothed out.
My product, comes off oily but their skin eats right up which I love about it.
Since they are older then 3 months I added Lavender essential oils (Oils are not recommended for babies under 3 months).

After two weeks of using Bush Body Butter Balm, the skin is much smoother.

Our shop is on Etsy at https://www.etsy.com/shop/BushBrandBodyButters and you please go like us on Facebook The Bush Brand – Body Butter & Lotions and follow us on IG @Thebushtwins

Working Mom to Stay at Home Mom

I returned to work in NYC while I live in NJ. I was reluctant because I didn’t want to be far from the twins, but I needed the money.

Being that I was one of the oldest and older employees in my department only after being there a year ( that in itself says a lot), I figured I would be able to get more of the schedule that I needed.  However, the 5 new people that came while I was on maternity leave got more convenient schedules, especially on the weekends. My manager was hired a month before I was due to leave, so she had seemed cool and easy to work with. A lot changed while I was gone.

Before I left, a week before giving birth to the twins I was working 100 + hours every 2 weeks, due to being short staffed. Everyone had to work weekends and time with the two children I already had was limited. Now that I returned, the new people have a weekend off, everyone had 1 night to close during the week and we all alternated a weekend night. I thought that was perfect. However, I wasn’t given a weekend off but instead I had to close on Sunday nights. I thought if I switched with my co-worker and close on his weekday I would get to either be off or leave earlier on the weekend, especially since I was the only person in my department with kids. I thought wrong. My manager said since I switched with him before consulting her I had to close both nights.

I was no longer making 80 hours because there were now two many people in my department, and now that I had twins I had to leave my house earlier to drop them off in the next town. I was averaging 4 1/2 hours a day with my kids 5 days out of the week. Since I was off Thursday and Friday I still wasn’t getting ample time with my teenager since she was in school. I used all my days, so I was getting written up because I called out sick. I was getting to work 20 min late because trying to catch a UBER or cab every morning to the sitter then being stuck in traffic on the bus to NY was a hassle. One day I just paid the cab $100 to take me to the sitter and then to work so I wouldn’t be late.

Being a single mom with 4 kids, in my mid 30’s then having to go to work and have someone tell you when you can go to lunch, tell them when you have to use the restroom, can’t whisper (Yes, we couldn’t whisper if my manager was in the office which was everyday), being watched and micro manged, then being told I couldn’t have my cell out and visible when I obviously I have children and I needed my phone to be out just in case I got a phone call. It got to a point where I couldn’t, I couldn’t be in a position where I was treated like a child and had to sneak and look at my phone or text the sitter.

I got up one morning and called in and said I’m not coming in, I quit. I didn’t how I was going to do it and I didn’t care because I was going to make something out of nothing. My kids come first and I knew I would do anything to make sure they have. I may not have all the money I had before, but I have a piece of mind and quality time with my kids and I make sure they still don’t want for nothing.


My Top 10 Stupid remarks I get As A Twin Mom

My twin girls are now 5 months and we don’t get out much. I have gotten dumb questions, but after going away with them the questions got more annoying or stupid. I am usually the type who gets annoyed easily but having twins is making me just a little and I mean a little tolerate of ignorant people and the redundant questions. Here are my top 10 stupid questions or remarks I get since I became a twin mom.

10. When out with my twins, people say  “How do you do it?” When I get asked that I really want to say is, “What, I’m not suppose to do anything just because I have twins?” But instead I just grin and nod my head.

9. “Can I hold one of your babies?” HELL NO,  is what I say in my head. I just say, “No, I don’t let people hold my babies.”

While on vacation, random strangers just walked up to me or my dad and asked if they could hold my babies. Like WTH? However, I did let  another twin mom I was talking with hold one of my twins .

8. Are they yours? No, they’re the Boogie Mans!!!

I’m not one to just carry around anyone’s baby and definitely not anyone’s two babies.

YES, they are mine (I say with a fake smile as I roll my eyes)

The other day, a lady said she thought my twins were my 15 yr old daughter babies and I was the grandma. My 15 year old was wearing a bikini with a flat stomach, holding one baby while the other was in the stroller next to me. I don’t know if she was being funny because teen pregnancy is high in urban communities, because I know good and damn well I don’t look like nobody’s grandma or look like I have a 15 year old. Smh

7. After, I tell people they are identical, I get asked, does that run in your family? Maybe a lot of people aren’t educated on twins, but IDENTICAL TWINS ARE NOT HEREDITY, like my doctor says it’s the Luck of the Draw, I won the baby lottery by having identical twins. I think I have to explain this to everyone that stops me.

6. Are they natural? Yes, I had sex and BOOM instead of one I got two. Yes, I actually say that lol.

I really want to say, Does, it look like I would pay for IVF or pay a surrogate? Just to hear what else silly people will say.

5. Better you than me. What does that mean?

It takes a extra special strong woman to have, handle and take care of multiples especially if your a single mom.

Does it mean, better me because I’m strong and your weak? Does it mean, I’m lucky to be blessed with multiples and you weren’t because you wouldn’t appreciate that blessing?

Whatever it means, I know i’m thankful it was me and not you!

4. You talk about twins a lot, you must be obsessed with twins?

Now, when I was pregnant I had someone say this to me. I was pregnant with twins and now have twins so your definitely going to hear me talk about twins. What, are you mad because you can’t relate. Whats the problem?

That’s like is a person with no kids who is around friends who discuss their kids, do they say, you must be obsessed with kids? No, they listen or don’t engage in conversation since they can’t relate.

3. Did you get your tubes tied? This a very popular question. Why, do people care? Last I checked I take care of my kids and this is my body. If I want more kids it will be my responsibility. I support my kids by myself, I don’t get help, barely have people who help me. Therefore, if I make another that’s my prerogative. What does my tubes being tied or not have to be of any concern to anyone, i’m not on welfare so your tax money isn’t benefiting me so what I do with my uterus and Fallopian tubes don’t benefit you. 

2. “Are they twins? or Can I see?” (No, its a dog and a cat and my kids aren’t on display or spectacle).

I am pushing two babies in a stroller, what do people think? Again, I want to say a smart remark like: No, they are just two infants i’m pushing around for the fun of it?

I don’t know why people ask that question.

I would rather people walk up to me and say “Oh, are they identical or fraternal?” Again, I just say yes with a smile without showing “how I hate this question” thru my facial expression.

Now the # 1 most annoying Question is:

Are they Boy/ Girl? 

Now, I know we live in a world of anything goes and maybe one may think “she was rushing and threw a pink blanket on both babies.” However, if you see pink sneaker on both babies or pink anything on both babies that you are looking right at as ask me if they are Boy/ Girl, I really want to say are you that dumb, last I checked baby girls wear pink not boys. Instead I say, they are IDENTICAL GIRLS as I proceed to say under my breathe how much of an idiot you are. 


I know I will probably have more annoying phrase or questions as they get older but as of now these are my TOP 10. 







I knew it wouldn’t be an easy task but as a single mom, but I wanted to take a venture with my kids even if that meant taking my 5 month old twins away as well.
I have my fifteen year old daughter and my three year old son, they don’t get out often and wanted to treat them to a nice resort in Orlando, Florida.
Our destination: Orange Lake Resort in Kissimmee, Florida.
As a single mom I looked forward to taking my 4 kids on a luxury vacation.
Our departure flight was with Spirit airlines. I must say I will never fly Spirit Again.
I had packed one suitcase with everyone things for a 5 night 4 day vacation. Of course with baby twins, you have to take extra onesies and pampers and a bunch of bids. Apparently, with Spirit Airlines they charge about $50.00 for checking in 1 bag and since my bag was 50.9 lbs. that was another charge of $55.00. So I spent $100 of the kid’s activity money checking our suitcase with Spirit Airlines.
After checking- In we were on our way to the biggest hump the TS mother (bleep) A, (In my daughter’s voice, my daughter has watched the movie  GET OUT to much, lol) PLANE

Once we got to security screening they gave my fifteen year old a pass so that she didn’t have to take off her coat and sneakers. Since my son is three he is allowed to go straight thru as well, but he is at the age where he likes to copy what I say and do, so he removed his jacket, hat, scarf and sneakers all while I’m trying to remove my sneakers, jacket and scarf. I was allowed to carry on my breast pump and bottles but all electronics had to be in its own tray. I had 2 cell phones, my camera and each car seat has to go on the security belt as well so I had to the remove babies as well.
I was kind of pissed since I had to put their blankets in a tray, they put their blankets in their mouth and I know the trays aren’t sanitized after each use. However, I have to follow regulations. By the time we finished taking off and unloading bags, we had 8 trays.
After going security screening we had an hour and a half before our flight departed which was at 6:15pm. After 6 pm they announced our flight was delayed until 7 pm. Thankfully the twins were well behaved, ate and slept. However, the three year old was a different story.
After 45 min, my son thought the sitting area at the gate was a play area. He ran all around, causing my daughter to chase him. He ended up running into a departure gate causing the airline attendant to chase after him with her baton to get him out or otherwise he would of ran right onto to the flight to Fort Lauradale and I would have had my own version of the movie HOME ALONE.
After getting my son to sit down, well sit down screaming and escaping from the stroller a stranger offered him candy causing him to remain half way seated until the plane was boarding,. The only thing I did appreciate about Spirit Airlines was that I was able to board first since I had a stroller.
Once on the plane all the kids slept which was a great thing. I was just unware that since I was sitting a 3 seat row the babies weren’t allowed to sit next to each other.

If more than one infant is seated in a parent’s lap and the oxygen masks were to be used one of the row occupants will have no oxygen mask to use.
Usually the reservation system/agents will avoid such a situation but it could happen that a family with two infants will be given boarding passes in one row, the cabin crew then will move one of the parents along with one of the infants to the other side of the row or to another row.”


My fifteen year old had to sit across from me and we just switched babies when one was hungry. however, the fact that I breast feed and need water or fluids, Spirit airlines charges for everything, no complimentary nothing expect for ice which I got so I could at least have some sort of water in my system and had to pay $5 for a drink for my son and daughter. Besides, the constant cost on Spirit and a delayed flight we finally got to our destination. Ohhh and I forgot to me mention no TV’s on the flight.
The funny part was my dad was picking us up in his 2 door Cadillac coupe. So, he took the kids, two car seats in the back, my son sat on the drink holder island in the middle of the back seat and my fifteen year old in the front. I sat at the airport with luggage and stroller until his wife was able to come pick me up an hour later.

On the departure trip I learned from the arriving flight the dos and don’ts. Thankfully, we took JetBlue Airlines back home. My daughter didn’t get a pass so she had to remove her belongings and we didn’t get to go first because we had a stroller. Baggage check in with the same suitcase I paid $105 to check in with Spirit Airlines. I paid $25 with JetBlue and we got complimentary drinks and chips as well as TV and the flight was on time.
Being a single mom with 4 kids, we did get a lot of attention and comments which I will blog about in my next blog. I’m glad I was able to take my kids away for fun because a lot of families with both parents aren’t fortunate don’t to getaway, so I’m very grateful.

How It All Started…

My life of a single mom of two kids was challenging enough. I had a teenager and a toddler. All I ever wanted was a family. A husband and a ton of kids. Finding the husband was the hard part but making the kids was much easier. Lol.

Well now I am a mom of 4 kids and the last two are twins. The twins were a blessing in a disguise.

For some reason I knew early on I was pregnant, even before my period was due. At first I thought maybe I was drinking too much because I felt “off” but then something told me, it was something more to it than that. I took a pregnancy test a whole week before my period was due, but of course it came out negative. I knew I took test to soon but I had to be pregnant because of the way I was acting reminded me of the other times I was pregnant. I was pregnant 4 times prior. Two of those 4 times ended in miscarriages. I ended up taking the 5 day early test and a light blue lined popped up confirming I was pregnant. pregnacytest

I had to text my cousin to confirm she saw a line since it was so thin. She decided to buy  a digital one to make sure.  I was so relieved that I finally knew now why I was acting “OFF,” but pregnancy wasn’t something I wanted, well not yet anyway.


2nd positive test (Digital pregnancy test 5 days early.)




I went to my doctor appointment for the first time in December, I was now 8 weeks along. The computers were down, but the doctor was still able to do a ultrasound. The nurse, the doctor and myself all saw 1 baby on the monitor and he printed me out a picture of my little nugget, I then made follow up for 2 weeks.

Two weeks later I return to the doctor, as the doctor is doing the ultrasound, I see him making strange faces. I said, “Hey, Doc was it up with these faces you are making?” He said, well it’s two things 1) you are having twins and 2) it looks like Mono Mono twins, which is a very very high risk twin pregnancy.”  I had recently read a story about a woman carrying mono mono twins, it is when the babies not only share the same placenta but also the same amniotic sac, meaning there is no separation and has to be carefully monitored requiring a lot of bed rest and hospital stays.

The doctor then decided to do a vaginal ultrasound to confirm, thankfully he was able to see two different sacs with the vaginal probe, and I was informed I was having Mono Di twins (One placenta, two sac = Identical twins). All I was doing was crying. I was OK with 1 baby, but two, how could this happen to me? The doctor informed me, Mono Di happen on its own, nothing to do with genetics, mono di twins aren’t hereditary only fraternal twins are hereditary from the mothers side.

My doctor informed me he didn’t handle Mono Di delivery since it was high risk and referred me to Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist Dr. Russell Miller at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in NYC.

I was seen every 2 weeks for a ultrasound and visit with Doctor, however, he referred me to the fetal echo department as well. Once they saw me they informed me that Baby B who is now Mia Sky had what it seemed to be a Coarctation of the aorta, which now caused me to have a ultrasound every week and see the doctor every two weeks.

Around 30 weeks, the doctor decided that I had to come in twice a week  for an ultrasound. Working in Midtown, leaving in NJ and having doctors appointment every week in uptown section of NYC was a lot especially since I was using public transportation and walking.

I was scheduled to be induced on June 25, 2017. At my second to last Dr appointment on June 20th everything was going as planned, then as the ultrasound tech went to go tell the doctor of her findings, she was taking longer than usual. As my surprise the doctor finally came in and informed me they were keeping me and to get ready for a birthday of two babies.

Before they started inducing me Mia’s heart rate was dipping, and four hours after they started inducing me I still wasn’t dilated and her heart rate continued to dip. I was then informed a C-section was mandatory.

I gave birth to my twins by c-section, Mia was taken sway immediately and Mya I got to see. The cord was wrapped around Mia’s neck that was why her heart was dipping.

Mya spent a week in the NICU and Mia two weeks. It was a hustle going to the hospital everyday but I did it, I walked 10 blocks the day after I was released from the hospital to bring them breast milk. But it was well worth it. A mothers love is remarkable.



Visiting Mya in NICU




Mia in NICU

Complications After My Twins Birth

 They both were in the incubator the 1st two days, then Mya was put in a regular crib for one day, but then her body temperature wasn’t consistent she was put back in forth between the incubator and the crib until she was released a week after delivery. Mia, however, was born with a defected heart, which I was aware of during pregnancy. She was monitored closely and stayed in the NICU for a total of 2 weeks. She was released from the hospital but was given a time to return in a few weeks for her heart surgery. Unfortunately, the surgery was mandatory, otherwise she would end up succumbing to a heart attack.

The day after I was released I got a ride to drop off breast mil20170622_093042(0)k, then enjoyed myself in the Bronx at Jack Thriller’s Party & Bullsh*t show in between pumping my breast. Two days after leaving hospital and 6 days after having a C-section, I took the bus to NYC and walked from 178th street to 165th street to drop off breast milk and spend time with my babies. Some days I got a ride some days I didn’t.

My mom came back with my other kids 1 day before Mia was released from the NICU because my grandma was dying. I went with my mother three weeks after the babies were born to spend 4 hours with my grandma and read to her and showed her pictures of the babies. Unfortunately, she never got to see them in person, she died that following weekend. It was so much going on for me at the time, besides my baby Mia, having her health issues, it also hit me hard that I couldn’t go to my grandma funeral which was held in VA., but my baby girl health was of a more important matter.

Surgery was a success and after spending a few hours with her in PICU, I returned to Mya, who I left with the same & only friend that helped watch my kids when the police were at my home.

The following week after my grandma passing, Mia had her surgery. It was a 6 hour surgery. All I could do was pray and breastfeed. It passed thru my mind a few times, why her father didn’t have a heart big enough to care. All I could do it pray for me to learn forgiveness besides praying for her health and my strength.

The next day the surgeon 20170725_191735called, Mia’s suture on her rib had separated and they had to go back in to repair. That had me down again, hoping and praying she would be ok. After a 2 weeks she was released. My poor baby had been thru so much in her 1st month of life.

Following up two weeks later with her cardiologist, they saw on her echo that her lungs were filled with fluid, after getting and seeing her x-ray, her left lung20170810_133938 was just invisible behind all the fluid. She now had a collapsed lung, complications from surgery and had to be admitted again.

At first a diuretic was used but wasn’t draining the fluid (my breast milk) out fast enough, so they ended up having to insert a tube in her left side to drain fluid. Looking at her with all these tubes in her reminded me of the same machines my grandma was on when I last saw her. This all was very emotional for me but I had to be strong. Everyday either by bus & walking or a ride, Mya was tied up in a Moby Wrap and tagged along with me to the hospital every day to be with Mia.

I was very very immature before I had these babies despite the fac20170810_173944t I had two kids already. However, I never was abandoned by a man while pregnant, I never realized how many people weren’t my friend, never had DYFS in my house and never gave birth by myself. When I had my baby shower I spent almost my last with no help financially from anyone so that everyone who RSVP’d would have a good time and only 20 people out of the 60 that RSVP’s showed up and then none of the 40 that didn’t never called or sent a gift it made me see where I was on peoples friends list. This pregnancy and these two babies gave me the strength I never knew I had. It made me realize all those days hanging out with people, supporting people and going to the club wasn’t worth the time that I rather be home with people who loved and needed me and those are my children.

Having twins, has my focus on life on bigger things. Faith in God, loving my family and working hard to get money so they will never want for anything. All I can say is Thank you —- Thank you to the man that blessed me with these babies, despite his role. Thank you to people for allowing me to see who they really are to me. Thank you to my strength for getting me through. This was the best experience ever, giving birth to my last two.