As many of you may know, I went on a emotional roller coaster while pregnant with the twins, even though I tried my best not to show it.
As children,we grow up dreaming of having a husband or a lover you will love to the end of time, having kids with that person, having a home and living a content life. Well that was my childhood dream. Even after having been engaged twice and having kids by my two former fiances I still looked for my dreams to come true.
Never in my life would I have imagined three things, 1). That I would be a single mother, 2). Have twins and 3). Have a man abandon not only me, but straight up lie and have nothing to do with the beautiful twin babies we produced.
It may bother me so much because he did it all for another female. So that she would believe he didn’t have anymore kids and that I am a bum and a delusional female he used to mess with, that only says he is the father because he has money. However, his money isn’t money that is in a bank account, or invested into a home or a car its just flashy street money that apparently I’m so delusional over.
Everyday is a struggle, I love all my kids but my other two kids know their father and have some sort of relationship. However, everyday is a struggle because I look at my beautiful babies and can’t understand how a man that people in my community feel is such a great person could turn his back on his offspring, how is mom, sister, brothers, nephew etc., know about the situation and don’t reach out. Two of them are my Facebook friends and they saw when my baby was going through her hurt surgery and collapsed lung and couldn’t even comment or like a picture.
Yes, I’m a strong woman, I been through a lot but this is the most hurtful thing I been through. I have even been in the Passaic County Jail, in Paterson, NJ where I was even in shackles, where I had to got naked and open my butt cheeks and coughing, sharing a nasty cell with females and being treated like a freaking child by CO’s. I would take that over the hurt I feel now.
With these twins not only did the father abandon me, but friends, well people I thought were my friends or people I thought had a heart. I have family, cousins that live near me, that don’t even come by a visit or call to see if I need a break or even support the Bush Brand Business I came up with in tribute to my twins.
Despite the situation, I took it as a lesson along with the hurt I have my 5th baby that keeps me busy and like mentioned earlier it is the Bush Brand. I have started it because I want to pass it down to the twins. Let them know their father may not love them but the world will.
The twins were born hyper pigmentation and eczema and I decided I would make The Bush Brand Body Butters. Not only do I have body butters, but I’m working on bath balms, and a few other products.
Also, when I was pregnant, I started writing stories about the twins. I took two of the stories and wrote my first kids book. The 1st two stories deal with Bullying and not having a Dad in the story Mommadad. Those subjects are big topic in today’s society.
Bullying has come a major topic nowadays, especially with social media, causing children to commit suicide. I wanted to make a story explaining it to kids in a easy way and let them learn that isn’t nice and that’s not the way to go about dealing with situations.
Mommadad, was written because I know one day they twins will want to know why they don’t have a dad. I will have to explain it to them. There are many many kid who were abandoned my a father and or a mother. Those things effect kids in many ways, but I want my kids to be successful, confident and love themselves despite they are missing half of their family.
My book Mia & Mya Twin Adventures is starting to get more sales, Bush Brand Body Butter sales are starting to pick up. The crazy part none of the people I helped in the past as far supporting their business or ideas have shared, liked or supported The Bush Brand in anyway. I even had to unfriend people because it hurt that they supported other and couldn’t even click a like button on my post. Their are people that I know that are advocates for moms and the whole mom life movement with discussions and podcast, who you would think would be supporters of what I do. But No. I feel like people don’t like to see the underdog reach for the top.
I even did a group text to let people, people that were either family or influential people in the community of to know of my book release. I know people hate group chats but I was to lazy to do individually. Anyway, one person texted back “Please remove me from chat.” Not, a congratulations or anything but just remove me from chat, while others requested the same and at least congratulated me in some sort of way. That was hurtful especially since the person is a mom life advocate. All I can do is laugh at it now, laugh on how people want but don’t want to give. People don’t want to see others on top and won’t do anything they feel is a threat to them and what they are trying to do.
Having my twins and building a Brand has been a wide eye opener. I don’t look at anyone the same, I don’t trust the same but I work harder, grind harder, making success for my family the main goal because gaining faith in the most high above. I was always trying to help people and support people but now that it is my time to shine I see where people stand. You know what? I learned I stand alone and it’s me alone who will have to bust my butt to get the success I need and want and that’s exactly what I will do.
This is my story behind building the Bush Brand.